R.A.W. Voices

October Survey

 In October we posed the following questions to our site visitors and this is what they had to say:

• A. "I enjoy the opportunity it presents me to meet people of different cultures/situations and share lifes victories and challenges with. I enjoy the opportunity that it presents me to be an example of my faith through my experiences as well as words." Tamara, Army Wife
• A. "The best thing is the sense of pride I feel for America and all it's soldiers." - Kristen, Army Wife
• A. "I enjoy the many experiences that you can't have anywhere else. To have friends that are like family scattered all over the world." - Sara, Army Wife
• A. "I enjoy knowing that my husband enjoys what he does and is making a difference in the world." - Heather S., Army Wife
• A. "I'm proud of the work my husband does. I enjoy traveling all over the world and meeting new people." - Erin, Army Wife
• A. "The sense of pride I have for my husband, all of the great people I have met, and all of the places I have been." - Heather J., Army Wife
• A. "I love the traveling." Jyl, Army Wife
• A. "As a military wife, I enjoy seeing the satisfaction serving in a multi-faceted, highly mobile, extremely challenging vocation brings to my     husband." -Suzanne, Army Wife
• A. "I enjoy the sense of patriotism and closeness within the military community." - Andrea, Army Wife
• A. "The friends I've made along the way." - Anonymous
• A. "What I enjoy most about being a military wife is the unity that bonds friends into family. We are usually far away from the towns we grew up in, the family that could help us when we need it, the friends you always counted on. Being an the army community helps you to spread your wings, become independent and open your mind to different people, places and things. Opportunities that may not have happened when you stay in your familiar surroundings all your life." - Sonya, Army Wife
• A. "I am A proud Wife of a 4-1 Cav Soldier, a Mom of A JROTC 1LT, a Marine Sgt, and 2 Young Marines, Our Children range in age from 12 to 24.) And I wouldn't change a thing. The Military has given me a sense of purpose, it keeps me tracking, and makes it easier to be the role model that I should be. We truly do believe and live God, Country and Family. The Military community is of one mind and we are close we UNDERSTAND and CARE for each other. Like I said I wouldn't change a thing HOOAH!" - Marie, Army Wife and Army Mom!
• A. "NOTHING" - "Anonymous"
• A. "To me being a military wife gives me a sense of pride that cannot be explained. My husband is my hero and I proudly stand by his side." - Erin, Army Wife
• A. "The pride I feel whenever I see my husband in uniform." - Mercedes, Army Wife
• A. "I enjoy the traveling! When else would we ever live in places all across the US and the globe! I am also very proud to be in such an active role concerning our country and our world." - Amy, Army Wife
• A. "I enjoy the sense of strong community. You build many relationships and pull together with those who are going through the same experiences. It is like having one big family no matter where you go." - Gina, Army Wife
• A. "The support and friendship built in the Protestant Women of the Chapel PWOC fellowship" - Jo, Army Wife
• A. "Meeting new people, seeing new places" - Ursla, Army Wife
• A. "Traveling" - Lisa, Army Wife
• A. "Meeting wonderful people all over the world; reconnecting with old friends; traveling; the understanding of others in "our world" what it is REALLY like in the military!!" - Deborah, Army Wife
• A. "I enjoy most is see or hearing about different places. All people hear about is the how horrible (destroyed) a place is, but as an Army wife I get to hear about the beautiful places that are left out of the media." - Jo Ann, Army Wife
• A. "Meeting new people." - Kristy, Army Wife
• A. "It is such a pleasure to support my husband as well as being a support to other wives as well. I love the camaraderie that I have with other wives." - Kendra, Army Wife
• A. "Experiencing various cultures, even those within our own country." - Kathleen, Army Wife
• A. "Traveling, benefits, the people."
• A. "The security that the military provides. - Alicia, Army Wife
• A. "The companionship with other wives who know what I am going through." - Jennifer, Army Wife
• A. "What I enjoy most about being a military wife is the godly bonding with other Christian wives." - Christine, Army Wife
• A. "The opportunity to travel to new places and meet life long friends." - Barbara, Army Wife
• A. "I love the fact that even though our guys are gone, we take care of our own. There is always someone from my boyfriend's unit sleeping on our couch.  Someone is always over to help out around the house and they know that we always bring food when they're on staff duty. It may not be the most perfect family, but our unit is a family I wouldn't trade for anything in the world." - Mary Catherine, Army Girlfriend
• A. "I am privileged to be a part of what God is doing in the earth today. Through my husband being a Chaplain! God is wanting to make Himself known to our military!! I'm thankful that my husband is a military Chaplain and serving in a much needed place for the gospel/truth to go forth." - Army Wife
• A. "The pride in seeing my son so self assured and standing so tall! Knowing that he knows he can do anything he wants to do!" - Maureen, Army Mom
• A. "I am so proud of my husband for serving his country!" - Mandi, Army Wife
• A. "The pride of knowing that my son is making a difference in the World. I also enjoy the new friends I have made with other military families. The bonds are very strong!" - Cindy, Army Mom
• A. "Job security" - Anonymous
• A. "I LOVE meeting a variety of new people - folks you would never get a chance to meet in the 'real world'. I also like the fact that I see parts of the world that I would never get to see if we were just Mr. and Mrs. High School Teachers." Erin, Army Wife
• A. "Its a really honorable thing and its a special thing to be married to a soldier and I think that it can make your marriage so much stronger. I'm really proud of what my husband does and I wouldn't want to be married to anyone else." - Steph, Army Wife
• A. " The support you get from friends and family, the longing for him to come home, then the butterflies you get when you see him after so long being on tour/field. It makes you feel like you just meet him again!" - Katherine, Army Wife
• A. "The ability to meet wonderful people from all over the world. The numerous opportunities to increase my experiences in volunteering, employment, and education. Finally, knowing that I belong to the largest family in the America... the Army Family. - April, Army Wife

Q. What do you find most challenging?  (Submit Your Comment)

• A. "I find that raising my kids on my own without my partner is probably the biggest challenge. They grow and change so much while he is away. I also find the roller coaster of emotions from constant deployments and training activities just as challenging. We as wives are asked to be strong and independent when they are away, to attack all the challenges that may arise, then when our soldier comes back, we are asked to step down and become wife again. A hard juggling act for anyone in this situation. It takes a lot of patience and understanding from both the spouse as well as the soldier."
• A. "Deployments."
• A. "The uncertainty and instability of deployments, training etc"
• A. "Moving the kids from school to school"
• A. "I guess that would be portraying strength when you are dying inside. Trying not to show tears to your loved one as they deploy. Pretending all is well on the home front. And dealing with the comments and attitudes of some of the Civilian sectors that truly believe that we "Get Over" on the government, and get everything for free, and we have a easy life and do not work for a living. We pay our way, in more ways than one. It's the ignorance that breaks my heart."
• A. "Listening to wives who live their lives through their husbands and have no identity of their own.
• A. "The traveling, sometimes the people, housing.
• A. "It is a challenge to be so far away from family and relatives. I realized a few years ago that my children did not receive hugs from anyone except my husband and I! So now I encourage my close army friends to hug my kids! They don't know what it is like to have and see cousins and grandparents on a daily basis and it does affect them."
• A. "Dealing with military family members who have forgotten that the military is for a season of their lives and is not the sole purpose for their life."
• A. "The deployment is really hard for me, the hardest thing I have ever been through in my life, before he left we were together every single day. We don't get along as well when he is gone, we are a better couple when we are together all the time, the whole "distance makes the heart grow fonder" ordeal doesn't work for my husband and me. "
• A. "I enjoy the new experiences and meeting of new people" - Charlotte, Army Wife
• A. "These days, deployments are the rule, not the exception. It is hard on soldiers, on families, on everyone. The hardest thing for me is to see someone who desperately wants to help with his/her share of the load but can't - either for physical or some other reason, and then to see someone who is fully capable, but continues to find excues or ways not to pull their weight. Why do some people have to be deployed three, four, or even five times and some people haven't gone at all?"
• A. "Staying upbeat while anticipating and going through such long deployments."
• A. "The most challenging thing I face is the time apart from my soldier."
• A. "It can be hard to have my husband gone. Also, making major decisions sometimes falls onto my lap alone."
• A. "Being away from my spouse when he is gone."
• A. "The stabilization time is probably the hardest part of deployment. Everyone changes and the person you loved when they left might not be the person they are when they come home. Yes, it is incredibly hard doing day-to-day chores without your husband/boyfriend/father around, but it takes a special breed of women to stand there and say without any judgment what-so-ever, "I am here for you. Even at 4 a.m. and I'm completely sleep-deprived, if you want to talk, I am here. And if you don't feel comfortable talking to me for any reason, I will get someone here that you can talk to because I love you that much."
• A. "The time apart" 
• A. "Doing everything by myself one year and then let my husband help the next year when he is home. Also watching my daughter cry for over an hour why her dad is not home and why she can not talk to him on the phone."
• A. "Raising kids in a non-stable environment, becoming a "single parent" during deployments and dealing with fear."
• A. "The time apart from my soldier."
• A. "Relocating; buying/selling a house; leaving friends; having to tell my children that we are moving yet again; being a "single parent" when my husband is gone"
• A. "Being away from my husband and he being away from our daughter."
• A. "Raising children and advancing my own career in this transient, comparably low-earning, ever-changing environment."
• A. "Knowing that at any given moment the phone can ring and someone will tell me that I will never see him again."
• A. "Moving, and uncertainty, raising kids on my own, and connecting again after a deployment."
• A. "DEPLOYMENTS! DEPLOYMENTS! DEPLOYMENTS!"
• A. "Single parenting and having to set up a new life every year or two."
• A. "The separation from my husband and trying to raise my boys without their father."
• A. "Deployments are always a challenge, but I think the biggest challenge is when they get home. Trying to get everyone adjusted to a new schedule.
• A. "Being a geographical single parent."
• A. "The fact that my husband has 25 years in is a Major and still gets no respect. He is gone more then home even when not deployed."
• A. "The dictated schedule by which my husband has to abide and live by, which is both flexible for the army and rigid for our family."
• A. "Being a single mother.  My husband has been gone for 18 months, home for 8 months, now gone for 15 and before that he was in and out for 2 months, home for 3 months..the list goes on and on.  That was doable but still no stability. He is a Chaplain, so we look at is as a ministry, but the fact is he goes away too much.
• A. "I find the long deployments; being without my husband most challenging.
• A. "Being away from him" \
• A. "The most challenging thing is being left behind for months and months at a time and raising our children alone. Being mom and dad is not easy but I also know that my husband misses more than myself. Sleeping alone at night gets lonely but you learn to cope. It's full of challenges but we overcome."
• A. "Understanding bigger picture than what directly effects my Family."
• A. "The biggest obstacle would be sitting on my hands when my son is in harms way. We have spent 18 years offering guidance and protection. It is rough letting them jump into the fire, facing it as grown men. We Moms always want to be there to apply the bandages to the scraped knee. ;)"

Q. What is the one thing that you would like for civilians to know about the military?  (Submit Your Comment)

• A.  "We are not lower class people and we are severely underpaid for the jobs we have to do. Just because we get medical services doesn't mean it is all good."
• A. "They shouldn't put in their two cents about what the soldiers don't need or deserve until they or a family has been put in their boots. Especially when it comes to them getting pay raises when they are already way under paid and I would say that if I wasn't a military spouse!"
• A. "Marrying a soldier is hard work, stressful, tiring, confusing, aggravating, but when all is said and done, absolutely worth every bit of it."
• A. "I want them to know that, we came into and stayed with the Military knowing full well what we were doing, the risks and sacrifices, and never turned back. We military families DO NOT have the best of life for FREE, we pay the price and work as hard as anyone one else. We don't want to be treated better just want to be treated like everyone else. We do what we do for all Civilians because we care, and we choose to. It is our way of doing our Part of being an American and helping us ALL to keep what all we have."
• A. "Not everyone can do it. It takes a strong person to be a military spouse. And even though for the most part our lives are pretty good, there is always a part of us that is on edge. Because if our soldier is home they can always leave at a moment's notice. And if they are gone there is always a worry. I don't think our minds are never fully at peace."
• A. "I want them to know that the husbands/wives and children of our great warriors bear the brunt of each and every day our military is active. These families function as a unit of it's own with support for each other. They help with illness, tragedies within families, daily stresses, doctor appointments, emergencies, finances, broken appliances, inoperative automobiles, children acting out due to the absence of one parent, and the complete and utter depression of feeling alone in the world. They act as taxi services, psychiatrists, teachers of all that is military, triage each others children and assess wounds and illnesses, banks, Mr./Mrs. fix it and console each other in thickness and thin in whatever the problem may be. Purple hearts for them? Medals of tolerance and pride, support and patience. That is what they deserve!" 
• A. "I am a military wife because of the man I love not because I wanted to be."
• A. "My husband is not a monster he does not kill for the thrill of it, he has a very difficult job, a job that you would not do so he stepped up for you and is now serving his country. I don't care if you support this war or the president but our troops deserve respect they are out there putting their lives on the line everyday, so people like you don't have to."
• A. "I wouldn't trade my life for anything in the world."
• A. "Remember to give thanks for our troops on a daily basis."
• A. "While civilians may not understand the reasons that military personnel join, nor may they appreciate the sacrifices military families make, it is so they can continue to live in this great country, even though it may have some flaws. The freedoms civilians take for granted have been bought for centuries with the blood of military men who have been and still are supported by their families."
• A. "Please appreciate and respect your military soldiers and their families. They are overworked and grossly underpaid for the sacrifices they endure for your freedom."
• A. "Army life is great and the Army has a lot of resources to support us"
• A. "Military life is not easy. The pay is low, the stress is high, and the commitment is life altering. Appreciation, support, and respect of the military members and their families is essential. Our loved ones pay dearly for the price of freedom, so understand this and truly appreciate all that we go through."
• A. "Military can be a good life"
• A. "We need a larger Army! That is the bottom line or shorter deployments.  The Air Force and Marines have it better, why not us?  One year breaks are not enough, it has to be 2 years!
• A. "That we are proud of our husbands and we believe the US must stand firm against terrorism."
• A. "It is a VOLUNTEER military service, and everyone who is in the military believes in what they are doing and they all need our support, regardless of how we feel about what is going on around the world."
• A. "Our benefits and pay are adequate, but that is all. Realize that most of our commissioned and noncommissioned officers have a minimum of a bachelor's degree. If you are a field grade officer, you have at least a master's degree if not two, or a PHD. Compare civilian salaries for professionals with the same. Know that although we have complete health care coverage, when our soldiers are deployed, most of the doctors are too. That makes for long, long waiting lists to get an appointment with a physician. If you think it takes a long time at your emergency room, imagine one with only volunteer community physicians, nurses, phlebotomist, etc. We have a new physician at least every two years. Continuity of healthcare is therefore unrealistic. Thanks for listening."
• A. "I want civilians to understand that the military is not just a job, but a way of life."
• A. "That what they see on the 24 hour news channels and read in the paper is not the whole story. It's usually the worst thing altered to fit their needs. Let's face it - the bad stuff gets better ratings. No one want to hear about the good stuff our guys are doing!"
• A. "It's not just the soldier who serves in the military, but the entire family. Because we believe in our country and the freedom it offers, we serve willingly."
• A. "It is not "a shame" that our spouses are fighting this war overseas, as I often hear. I am amazed at the brave men and women who VOLUNTEER to serve this county in such a time as this. And thank God we such a strong military. Can you imagine life after 9/11 without it?"
• A. "Don't you dare look down upon me because my other half is serving. He did not get us into this war, he is just doing his job."
• A. "As a military spouse I do what they do as in making a home for my family. I must be pretty strong especially in deployments but I also need their support when my husband is away from home. Having the support and help of a community is so vital. To have people that grew up in an area to ask questions of....like who is a good plumber or electrician is so helpful."
• A. "I want them to know that our soldiers make the ultimate sacrifice for their freedom, as well as the families they leave behind. The support and appreciation for the job these men and women who, willing and freely, do for the good of the people of this nation would go a long way in the hearts of the children who miss their loved ones during the long separations of training and deployments."
• A. "My husband does this job, no matter what, for the sake of civilians' rights."
• A. "We deal with loved ones being gone daily. Everything you see or hear on the news does NOT go away when you turn it off."
• A. "My husband serves in the United States Army as a service to his country. In turn I too serve and support him in that service by making sure his family is well taken care of."
• A. "We need to stay united as a nation and support, embrace and be proud of our troops. There has been an enormous amount of sacrifice for peace and freedom in this great nation."
• A. "The one thing I would like is for my husbands sacrifices to make a difference so that my son's and daughter will not have to fight this war."
• A. "My husband along with all the troops are doing a great job, regardless of what the media says."
• A. "Keep an open mind and what the military needs most is their political support."

Q. What is the dumbest question you have been asked pertaining to the military?  (Submit Your Comment)

• Q. "How do you do it?"
  A. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!"
• Q. "Don't you ever get lonely?"
  A. "No, I have Jesus with me in everything I do, and lots of friends."
• Q. "It must be hard for you that you're moving every 3 years."
  A. "Moving constantly is great and I can experience a lot of new adventures."
• Q. "How do you deal with your husband deploying- I could never do that!?"
  A. "I don't have a choice, you just have to deal with it!"
• Q. "How much is your husband worth? (Do you "believe" that?!)"
  A. "No amount of money would console me in the loss of my husband whose love is priceless!"
• Q. "So, do you like sleeping with a murderer?"
  A. "Excuse me but my husband is not a murderer. If nothing else, he's a hero and I demand that you treat him like one. He's had guys die in his arms and could do nothing and until you go through that experience, don't you dare call my husband a murderer."
• Q. "Why do you stay with him through everything?"
  A. "It's MY job!"
• Q. "Chaplains don't have to be deployed do they?"
  A. "Yes, they have to do everything their unit does, including jump out of airplanes, rappel out of helicopters, go to SEARS school, road march with full gear for 15 miles...everything except carry a gun."
• Q. "How can you deal with deployments, I would leave my husband."
  A. "You must not have what it takes to love a soldier."
• Q. "How do you feel about the WAR?"
  A. "That's a real stupid question!"
• Q. "Don't you hate moving around?"
  A. "No, I've been places and seen things I couldn't have any other way."
• Q. "Why do you want to buy nice furniture when you move around so much?"
  A. "My home, no matter where it might be, is just as important as yours."
• Q. "How are you a military wife?"
  A. "Because it is my life and I do what I have to do!"
• Q. "How do you do it?"
  A. "What other choice do I have?"
• Q. "Do you ever worry your husband won't come home?"
  A. "I just look at them and give a "polite" of course i do...what the @#*&!!!!!
• Q. "Is there enough time home in between deployments (FOX TV reporter)"
  A. "DUH!! There never could enough time between deployments."
• Q. "Not a question, but a statement...A woman once commented that our soldiers don't deserve to receive the 'high' housing allowance they get. She was complaining that her tax dollars are going toward the wrong resources."
  A. "No Response."
• Q. "Why doesn't your husband just quit the Army?"
  A. "You don't understand selfless service"
• Q. "Don't you hate George Bush for making up a war that wasn't necessary for your husband to fight."
  A. " I politely say that I believe that George Bush has been a good president and I do believe that this war was inevitable. We did not bomb terrorists, they bombed us."
• Q. "Does it bother you that your husband is in Iraq?"
  A. "Would it bother you if your loved one was being shot at, sleeping on sand, enduring 130 degree plus weather, while being away for months on end away from you? Yes, it does bother me."
• Q. "Why didn’t you make your son stay?"
  A. "I began to giggle like an idiot because I had the visual of my son on his hands and knees, wearing a dog leash … and I was ordering him to ’sit’… ‘STAY’ … ‘Good Boy!’ Patting his head and offering him a doggy treat."
• Q. I do not know how you do it having your husband gone so long. How do you do it?
  A. "It is just like anything else that is hard in life, I take it one day at a time."
• Q. "Do you have to salute his superiors?"
  A. "No, his boss is not my boss!"
• Q. "I don't know how you do it?"
  A. "Well, duh! Like we plan to be be alone for months on end - we 'do it' cause we have to!!"
• Q. "Did your husband ever kill anyone?"
  A. "None of your business."
• Q. "Why I would ever want to be married to someone who was gone so much and wasn't there?"
  A. "Because its all worth it in the end and I know why he isn't there and it just makes me that much more proud of him and love him that much more."
• Q. "What are you going to do when he is deployed?"
  A. "Support him and miss him like crazy."
• Q. "So, do you miss him?"
  A. "HUH?"
• Q. "When they ask how I'm doing, but they ask as if I have some sort of sickness or something."
  A. "Depends on what kind of mood I am in."
• Q. "Why in the world do you stay married when your Husband is gone all the time?
  A. "I knew the job was dangerous when I took it, I love and support my husband. It's something we believe in and I wouldn't change a thing."